I've been sort of going over all of this in my mind the last few days. Last week, Cheyenne writes me up because she sees me lurking on MySpace. Her boyfriend [and our friend] Ooie was working all night, she was bored and so she asked me if I wanted to go get something to eat. It's the first real chance I've had to be sociable without Charlie included [okay, there was that one time Sara invited me to her mini get together across the street, but being that I don't really drink nor have a ton in common with those people, it wasn't exactly earth shattering fun].
I made up an excuse not to hang out with her. I didn't lie or anything - just made up an excuse. I told her I didn't really have the money right now to go out to eat and well, that's true because I really don't. But that doesn't mean she and I couldn't just hang out or something. She probably would have come and picked me up and us go hang out - just us girls. But so many things flooded my mind and stopped me.
I feel horrible when I do fun stuff without Charlie. He works so hard to provide for us. I know he's miserable at his job. How unfair is it if I run off during the day to hang out with friends? He doesn't get to do that as much as he'd like to. So I don't feel right going off to have fun without him. I'm sure he'd love to go hang out with our friends.
So I didn't go out. Part of me just didn't feel like it anyways. I was in my pajamas [okay, unless I'm leaving the house, I'm always in my pajamas lol] and something just clicked and I didn't go. I could have made alternate suggestions for stuff that didn't require money. But I didn't, and I am very sorry Cheyenne. It really had nothing to do with you. I guess it was a weird day for me.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Something Good Is Going To Happen
Something really good is about to happen - I can feel it. We've been struggling and working really hard - especially in the last few months. Money is tight, but I feel like we might just catch a break somewhere. Something might just give a little.
I was really lucky to be invited to a promotional bundle advertised by IMVU on their entire website. I don't earn a ton of money per sale, but it's already sold more times than I had expected it to. I've made more money in the last 24 hours than I have in a long time because of it - so it was really good exposure and really helpful financially.
And Chris, my best friend... bless that man. He has really proven himself to me this year in ways I never expected. He's done so much for this family and I'm truly forever in his debt. I didn't have the money needed to hire a lawyer to fight for Hailey - it's why I didn't have a lawyer in the first place which is why I lost her at a status hearing for my divorce. He loaned me the money and I promised to pay him back with Charlie's tax return. But then we got the tax return and almost immediately, other people began holding their hands out for money. It's been one thing after another. I've borrowed money from Charlie's mom, we've sold things and yet more people hold out their hands.
And yet, Chris randomly hired me to do some graphic work for him for one of his websites yesterfdy. I have no doubt that he probably wanted to re-do the site but he's perfectly capable. I know he hired me so neither of us had to feel weird about him giving me more money. He'd tell you that wasn't it, but that's the kind of guy he is. No idea how much he's paying and quite frankly, I don't care. Every little bit helps right now. So I took the opportunity and I started making graphics for him.
So in that respect, things are looking up. I can't believe the Guardian Ad Litem could possibly want more money and I'm actually rather pissed off about it. We're talking $1,500 this woman just charged. I realize she charged $150 an hour, but what on earth has she been doing that she's used up $1,500 worth of her time? We haven't been to trial in ages. It couldn't have taken her more than an hour to read my evaluation. I can't see it taking hours to e-mail back and forth with the two lawyers. Believe me when I say that it doesn't matter what the cost is - because Hailey is always worth every penny. But how on earth could it be time to pay this lady again? I just managed to squeeze $300 out of our pockets to finish paying her - and we had to sell stuff to do it. She's a wonderful woman and I'm happy to have her really on my side. She's been thorough. But good Lord, no one has the kind of money she's after.
Oh, this was supposed to be a positive blog. Oh well. You have to take the good with the bad. The point is, I think that we're somehow going to be okay. Some way, somehow, everything is going to work in the end. Yesterday Charlie said "It can't happen like this forever, because we're good people and deserve better than this." He's right. We've been through a lot of hardships in the last year but we've stuck together and gotten through them all. We've worked really hard and we deserve something good to happen.
I was really lucky to be invited to a promotional bundle advertised by IMVU on their entire website. I don't earn a ton of money per sale, but it's already sold more times than I had expected it to. I've made more money in the last 24 hours than I have in a long time because of it - so it was really good exposure and really helpful financially.
And Chris, my best friend... bless that man. He has really proven himself to me this year in ways I never expected. He's done so much for this family and I'm truly forever in his debt. I didn't have the money needed to hire a lawyer to fight for Hailey - it's why I didn't have a lawyer in the first place which is why I lost her at a status hearing for my divorce. He loaned me the money and I promised to pay him back with Charlie's tax return. But then we got the tax return and almost immediately, other people began holding their hands out for money. It's been one thing after another. I've borrowed money from Charlie's mom, we've sold things and yet more people hold out their hands.
And yet, Chris randomly hired me to do some graphic work for him for one of his websites yesterfdy. I have no doubt that he probably wanted to re-do the site but he's perfectly capable. I know he hired me so neither of us had to feel weird about him giving me more money. He'd tell you that wasn't it, but that's the kind of guy he is. No idea how much he's paying and quite frankly, I don't care. Every little bit helps right now. So I took the opportunity and I started making graphics for him.
So in that respect, things are looking up. I can't believe the Guardian Ad Litem could possibly want more money and I'm actually rather pissed off about it. We're talking $1,500 this woman just charged. I realize she charged $150 an hour, but what on earth has she been doing that she's used up $1,500 worth of her time? We haven't been to trial in ages. It couldn't have taken her more than an hour to read my evaluation. I can't see it taking hours to e-mail back and forth with the two lawyers. Believe me when I say that it doesn't matter what the cost is - because Hailey is always worth every penny. But how on earth could it be time to pay this lady again? I just managed to squeeze $300 out of our pockets to finish paying her - and we had to sell stuff to do it. She's a wonderful woman and I'm happy to have her really on my side. She's been thorough. But good Lord, no one has the kind of money she's after.
Oh, this was supposed to be a positive blog. Oh well. You have to take the good with the bad. The point is, I think that we're somehow going to be okay. Some way, somehow, everything is going to work in the end. Yesterday Charlie said "It can't happen like this forever, because we're good people and deserve better than this." He's right. We've been through a lot of hardships in the last year but we've stuck together and gotten through them all. We've worked really hard and we deserve something good to happen.
Emotional Roller Coaster
One of my friends is clearly going through something. I have no idea what it is and I doubt she wants to tell me. It seems like any time I ask, I hardly get any details any ways so I don't think she really wants me to know - for whatever reason that may be. In fact, she's divulged more to my husband than me in the last six months.
It's not her fault, but I've had a hard time being her friend this year. I don't want anyone, including her to misunderstand that statement. Again, it's not her fault. It has to do with what I'm going through and the stressful events of my life. Maybe that's why she doesn't tell me things. I had a really hard time after Hailey was taken. She continued with the normal complaints of motherhood - things she had every right and reason to rant about. It wasn't her fault that I was hurting and she could never understand why it was hurting so much [nor would I ever want her to].
And again, she's clearly going through something. Her emotional roller coaster is getting to me in an odd way. It's made me want to shut her out again because I can't handle her ups and downs on top of my own. And that's not her fault - not in the least. But she's literally talking about how happy she is at 1pm and crying at 3pm. She goes from being on top of the world to saying her world has fallen to pieces and right back to superb without so much as skipping a beat. I can't handle it.
I don't really even know why it's bothering me so much. Perhaps because her and I share such very similar lives up until this year? Is it because I care so deeply that I feel excited for her when she's happy and sad for her when she's upset? It's causing me my own emotional roller coaster and I just cannot handle it. Lord knows I'm riding my own right now.
I've considered un-following her on Twitter so I don't have to read the literal up to the minute updates on her life. I don't want to seem like a bad friend. I really have my reasons. I don't want her to feel as if I'm not being supportive. I'd go to the end of the world to be supportive of this woman. But in order to do that, I need a concrete story - not snippets of life updates that go up and down at the drop of a hat. I'm very conflicted and I hope that should she read this, she understands my point of view and doesn't feel hurt.
It's not her fault, but I've had a hard time being her friend this year. I don't want anyone, including her to misunderstand that statement. Again, it's not her fault. It has to do with what I'm going through and the stressful events of my life. Maybe that's why she doesn't tell me things. I had a really hard time after Hailey was taken. She continued with the normal complaints of motherhood - things she had every right and reason to rant about. It wasn't her fault that I was hurting and she could never understand why it was hurting so much [nor would I ever want her to].
And again, she's clearly going through something. Her emotional roller coaster is getting to me in an odd way. It's made me want to shut her out again because I can't handle her ups and downs on top of my own. And that's not her fault - not in the least. But she's literally talking about how happy she is at 1pm and crying at 3pm. She goes from being on top of the world to saying her world has fallen to pieces and right back to superb without so much as skipping a beat. I can't handle it.
I don't really even know why it's bothering me so much. Perhaps because her and I share such very similar lives up until this year? Is it because I care so deeply that I feel excited for her when she's happy and sad for her when she's upset? It's causing me my own emotional roller coaster and I just cannot handle it. Lord knows I'm riding my own right now.
I've considered un-following her on Twitter so I don't have to read the literal up to the minute updates on her life. I don't want to seem like a bad friend. I really have my reasons. I don't want her to feel as if I'm not being supportive. I'd go to the end of the world to be supportive of this woman. But in order to do that, I need a concrete story - not snippets of life updates that go up and down at the drop of a hat. I'm very conflicted and I hope that should she read this, she understands my point of view and doesn't feel hurt.
Birthday Wishes
Today is our friend Brandy's birthday. [Happy birthday by the way!] I mentioned to Charlie that I didn't really care about what we did or didn't do for my birthday this year, so long as I had a decent day. And let's face it... it's not hard to make it a decent day in comparison to my birthday last year where my ex husband decided he didn't like my attitude and literally punished me by sending me to my bedroom. Yeah.. wish I were joking.
Every year, my best friend Chris makes me dinner - or at least, that's the general plan. It's usually me telling him "Hey, you owe me birthday dinner" and I go to his house to hang out and eat food and once upon a story, I used to stay the night and sleep on his couch. Incidentally, this can occur whether it be September (my birth month) or any other month of the year. Last year was no exception except for once, I planned to go hang out with him on my actual birthday because it wasn't like my ex husband was going to do a damn thing for me. Of course then my husband punished me and I wasn't allowed to go.
Well Charlie knows all of this. He knows that way back in the day I had a thing for Chris. He knows I've slept over on his couch a multitude of times. But yet he looks at me and here's how the conversation goes...
We don't really have the money to do anything big this year. In fact, I'm pretty sure Charlie will have to work. I just want to be able to have a nice day. I want it to be a happy day that I get to spend with him and Hailey. That's all I really need.
[By the way, my birthday isn't until September 14th so we've got a ways to go yet.]
Every year, my best friend Chris makes me dinner - or at least, that's the general plan. It's usually me telling him "Hey, you owe me birthday dinner" and I go to his house to hang out and eat food and once upon a story, I used to stay the night and sleep on his couch. Incidentally, this can occur whether it be September (my birth month) or any other month of the year. Last year was no exception except for once, I planned to go hang out with him on my actual birthday because it wasn't like my ex husband was going to do a damn thing for me. Of course then my husband punished me and I wasn't allowed to go.
Well Charlie knows all of this. He knows that way back in the day I had a thing for Chris. He knows I've slept over on his couch a multitude of times. But yet he looks at me and here's how the conversation goes...
"You can even go hang out with Chris on your birthday if you want and sleep over."Oops. I guess Charlie does have a point. That is pretty bad that I did that but nothing really happened. Either way, I don't think it's appropriate for me to go sleep over at another man's house - even if he's okay with it. I remember when Joe and I were dating and I went to hang out with Chris one night and he drove me home and I didn't let him come inside to use the bathroom. Joe didn't know him and it didn't feel right. *shrugs*
"Heeeeelllllll naw.. I'm a married woman!"
"Well that didn't stop you from sleeping over at his house while you were married to Joe."
-----Pause-----
"Well that was different. I'm happily married now and I don't feel the need to get out of the house to get away from anyone."
We don't really have the money to do anything big this year. In fact, I'm pretty sure Charlie will have to work. I just want to be able to have a nice day. I want it to be a happy day that I get to spend with him and Hailey. That's all I really need.
[By the way, my birthday isn't until September 14th so we've got a ways to go yet.]
My Online Stalkers
What kind of blog would this be if it didn't include some drama at some point? I have a live feed and I do watch it. I won't single the person out by pointing out which location it is that I know belongs to a certain someone, but I hope they realize that I see them and know they are for whatever reason, stalking me.
Ya see, I posted the link to my blog in a few locations - one of which happened to be on my Status Message on MySpace. The first time this person came to my blog, it was through that link. This woman... "Anna" we'll call her... she's not a friend of mine although she used to be. She's not on my friends list so it's not like she just happened to see my status message - she had to actually scope out my MySpace page to see it.
Okay, so it's only human to be curious. She clicked on the link, wondering where it would lead her to. I get it. But why keep coming back? Are you that nosy? Don't get me wrong - the point of the blog being public is so that people can read it. I write it, hoping people will be nosy - but not this person nor the group of women she's associated with.
This requires a story.
During my pregnancy with Hailey (so we're talking the year of 2006 here) I started participating in "Parenting Groups" [you'll understand the need for quotations during the story] on MySpace. Some were for young parents, others for baby wearers, breast feeders and more. As time went on, my participation in these groups began to heighten. I became a well-known figure in this little corner of cyberspace, donned with my ability to be absolutely in your face and always the person to tell it like it was. It gained me a sort of following - women who wanted to befriend me because they liked my assertiveness and let's face it... they didn't want to be on the receiving end of my e-brutality.
I should mention that over the course of time, these "parenting groups" [there it is again!] slowly diminished from the great, informative groups they once were. It used to all be about being able to talk with other parents about the hardships of being a parent - diapers, doctor's visits, vaccination, circumcision, car seats and every other conversation you could possibly imagine coming up in regards to parenting. Then one day, it just stopped. It became about who was the lesser parent. People were attacked on a daily basis. The slightest weakness or potentially "lesser" [read dumb] question was flocked to and picked apart by a group of vultures....
With me as the ring leader.
It amazes me still all of the hours spent with a small group of women who I then called my friends - "Anna" included. We on many occasions pretended to be friends with people just to get information about them, take them back to a private group we'd made for ourselves and giggle over what we'd found. Half the time we didn't even inform others... we just sat on the information and used it to fuel our childishness. We were at the top of our "game" and all of us became very well known as the people not to speak against in these groups.
Then one day I came to find myself weak. [This sounds so silly] I like so many of the girl's we'd picked on, became the lesser parent. I confided too many details about my abusive marriage in these women and I one day found myself attacked. It was only natural that I lost. I had taught them well after all. They knew everything about me - more information than we'd ever had on anyone else.
It had been a particularly bad week for me and in the end, I have no one to really blame but myself. I wouldn't have gotten attacked had I not lashed out at these women over something incredibly stupid. Then again, if they had really ever been my true friends, they would have understood. They would have realized that I was really hurting - emotionally, mentally and physically as I suffered through my horrible marriage. But that was it. One wrong turn and I was an immediate outcast. I made a lot of enemies during my time as ring leader of that group and they all came crashing down on me.
Weeks later, it finally hit me. I continued to read the forums I'd all but been physically casted out of and I said to myself
"Oh My God! What the hell was all of that? I can't believe I did that. Did I really spend all of my free time on THAT?"
Yup. I sure had. I lost a lot of time I could have been spending with my daughter - maybe even on my marriage. Who knows. I finally realized the way I'd tormented other women online all because I was unhappy and all because I had so many insecurities about my own life. My life was so very far from perfect, but I had a bad habit of wanting sympathy for what I was going through while pretending I was wife, mother and person of the year.
Those groups haven't changed. Those women haven't really changed. They are still all friends. They are still attacking people they find to be the lesser parent. I'm waiting for the day that they wake up and realize what they have done not only to themselves but to people around them. It's so easy to be so cruel and unforgiving when you are sitting at a computer monitor.
Now that you have a glimpse of that...
I have no idea why these women continue to stalk me. Well, I guess I do. It's the same reason we did it to other people. I'm not sure what they expect to find here. I'm not sure why they can't take the higher road and just go away. I know it's hard - I had to learn to do that myself. I just want to say "Anna", you know who you are if it's really you stalking this blog. I am sorry for the things I said and did to and with you and the other ladies you call your friends. Maybe in time, we can all learn to forgive each other. I hope that like me, you realize what it is you are doing to yourself.
Ya see, I posted the link to my blog in a few locations - one of which happened to be on my Status Message on MySpace. The first time this person came to my blog, it was through that link. This woman... "Anna" we'll call her... she's not a friend of mine although she used to be. She's not on my friends list so it's not like she just happened to see my status message - she had to actually scope out my MySpace page to see it.
Okay, so it's only human to be curious. She clicked on the link, wondering where it would lead her to. I get it. But why keep coming back? Are you that nosy? Don't get me wrong - the point of the blog being public is so that people can read it. I write it, hoping people will be nosy - but not this person nor the group of women she's associated with.
This requires a story.
During my pregnancy with Hailey (so we're talking the year of 2006 here) I started participating in "Parenting Groups" [you'll understand the need for quotations during the story] on MySpace. Some were for young parents, others for baby wearers, breast feeders and more. As time went on, my participation in these groups began to heighten. I became a well-known figure in this little corner of cyberspace, donned with my ability to be absolutely in your face and always the person to tell it like it was. It gained me a sort of following - women who wanted to befriend me because they liked my assertiveness and let's face it... they didn't want to be on the receiving end of my e-brutality.
I should mention that over the course of time, these "parenting groups" [there it is again!] slowly diminished from the great, informative groups they once were. It used to all be about being able to talk with other parents about the hardships of being a parent - diapers, doctor's visits, vaccination, circumcision, car seats and every other conversation you could possibly imagine coming up in regards to parenting. Then one day, it just stopped. It became about who was the lesser parent. People were attacked on a daily basis. The slightest weakness or potentially "lesser" [read dumb] question was flocked to and picked apart by a group of vultures....
With me as the ring leader.
It amazes me still all of the hours spent with a small group of women who I then called my friends - "Anna" included. We on many occasions pretended to be friends with people just to get information about them, take them back to a private group we'd made for ourselves and giggle over what we'd found. Half the time we didn't even inform others... we just sat on the information and used it to fuel our childishness. We were at the top of our "game" and all of us became very well known as the people not to speak against in these groups.
Then one day I came to find myself weak. [This sounds so silly] I like so many of the girl's we'd picked on, became the lesser parent. I confided too many details about my abusive marriage in these women and I one day found myself attacked. It was only natural that I lost. I had taught them well after all. They knew everything about me - more information than we'd ever had on anyone else.
It had been a particularly bad week for me and in the end, I have no one to really blame but myself. I wouldn't have gotten attacked had I not lashed out at these women over something incredibly stupid. Then again, if they had really ever been my true friends, they would have understood. They would have realized that I was really hurting - emotionally, mentally and physically as I suffered through my horrible marriage. But that was it. One wrong turn and I was an immediate outcast. I made a lot of enemies during my time as ring leader of that group and they all came crashing down on me.
Weeks later, it finally hit me. I continued to read the forums I'd all but been physically casted out of and I said to myself
"Oh My God! What the hell was all of that? I can't believe I did that. Did I really spend all of my free time on THAT?"
Yup. I sure had. I lost a lot of time I could have been spending with my daughter - maybe even on my marriage. Who knows. I finally realized the way I'd tormented other women online all because I was unhappy and all because I had so many insecurities about my own life. My life was so very far from perfect, but I had a bad habit of wanting sympathy for what I was going through while pretending I was wife, mother and person of the year.
Those groups haven't changed. Those women haven't really changed. They are still all friends. They are still attacking people they find to be the lesser parent. I'm waiting for the day that they wake up and realize what they have done not only to themselves but to people around them. It's so easy to be so cruel and unforgiving when you are sitting at a computer monitor.
Now that you have a glimpse of that...
I have no idea why these women continue to stalk me. Well, I guess I do. It's the same reason we did it to other people. I'm not sure what they expect to find here. I'm not sure why they can't take the higher road and just go away. I know it's hard - I had to learn to do that myself. I just want to say "Anna", you know who you are if it's really you stalking this blog. I am sorry for the things I said and did to and with you and the other ladies you call your friends. Maybe in time, we can all learn to forgive each other. I hope that like me, you realize what it is you are doing to yourself.
You Gotta Have Friends
It may seem like a silly subject to talk about, but when you're a mom - particularly one with a special needs child, friends can be difficult to come by. I often struggle with the fact that I'm just 23 years old and I'm fully settled down with a family while a lot of other women my age are free to go out and do as they please - party, stay out late etc. Don't get me wrong... I don't regret it. I just have come to really appreciate the friends that I do have.
I was reminded today of just how nice it is to have friends. Charlie and I went to see GI Joe this afternoon and several of our friends work at the theater. I love going there. Okay, so we get into the movies for free because Charlie used to work there - and that's a plus. But really, I love getting to see our friends. It makes me feel much more human and much more alive. I enjoy knowing that it's someplace I can walk into and instantly fit in because I know so many of the people there. That's a feeling I was without for so long.
During the three years I was married to my ex husband, I had only one friend and sadly I didn't have her long. My ex found her to be annoying and I admit, she could be some days. But she was my friend and she was all I had. Like us, she and her husband were a military family and after they were stationed elsewhere, I found myself completely alone and unable to befriend anyone else during such a horrible period in my life. I was too ashamed of the crappy relationship I was having with my husband and the type of depressed life we were living. I couldn't manage to put myself out there because I was far too ashamed of myself.
Let's face it, I haven't made a lot of friends since my parents moved me to South Carolina in mid 2003. I've bounced around so much that it's been impossible to - and being a military family certainly didn't help. Even if I did make a friend, they were gone as quickly as they came. That was typical since my ex husband was stationed at Fort Gordon - which is primarily a training base. Except for the people who were really stationed there to keep the base running, people were in and out a lot. I never really felt like I fit in with the other military wives anyways. Most of the ones I met had their sob stories about deployments, weeks if not years without their husbands or woes of them constantly being moved around. I didn't have those stories. Joe had been in the Army for 6 years by then. He'd already done his tour of Iraq and we knew for sure he'd never go back again. We weren't moved around - we were permanently stationed at Fort Gordon. I had nothing in common with those women except that my laundry basket looked like theirs.
I have one friend that I have known for years. I consider him my best friend and he's really been there for me through so much in the last, what is it now.. almost 5 years!? During that five years, I can count on my hands how many times we've seen each other in person. That makes for a rather odd friendship but I talk to him more than most friends do I guess. Not a day goes by without an instant message box going between us and if it does, I tend to get worried about him. ha! But anyways... no matter how good of friends we are despite that, a person comes to crave the personal interaction with others.
Charlie has known some of the people in our "circle" as I like to call it, for upwards of 15 years. Pretty much everyone he knows, knows one another. In fact, it's hard to run into people who don't know our friends as I was shown today at the theater when a new kid working there didn't know who we were and a friend of ours who works there explained who we are. The conversation was rather amusing...
I was reminded today of just how nice it is to have friends. Charlie and I went to see GI Joe this afternoon and several of our friends work at the theater. I love going there. Okay, so we get into the movies for free because Charlie used to work there - and that's a plus. But really, I love getting to see our friends. It makes me feel much more human and much more alive. I enjoy knowing that it's someplace I can walk into and instantly fit in because I know so many of the people there. That's a feeling I was without for so long.
During the three years I was married to my ex husband, I had only one friend and sadly I didn't have her long. My ex found her to be annoying and I admit, she could be some days. But she was my friend and she was all I had. Like us, she and her husband were a military family and after they were stationed elsewhere, I found myself completely alone and unable to befriend anyone else during such a horrible period in my life. I was too ashamed of the crappy relationship I was having with my husband and the type of depressed life we were living. I couldn't manage to put myself out there because I was far too ashamed of myself.
Let's face it, I haven't made a lot of friends since my parents moved me to South Carolina in mid 2003. I've bounced around so much that it's been impossible to - and being a military family certainly didn't help. Even if I did make a friend, they were gone as quickly as they came. That was typical since my ex husband was stationed at Fort Gordon - which is primarily a training base. Except for the people who were really stationed there to keep the base running, people were in and out a lot. I never really felt like I fit in with the other military wives anyways. Most of the ones I met had their sob stories about deployments, weeks if not years without their husbands or woes of them constantly being moved around. I didn't have those stories. Joe had been in the Army for 6 years by then. He'd already done his tour of Iraq and we knew for sure he'd never go back again. We weren't moved around - we were permanently stationed at Fort Gordon. I had nothing in common with those women except that my laundry basket looked like theirs.
I have one friend that I have known for years. I consider him my best friend and he's really been there for me through so much in the last, what is it now.. almost 5 years!? During that five years, I can count on my hands how many times we've seen each other in person. That makes for a rather odd friendship but I talk to him more than most friends do I guess. Not a day goes by without an instant message box going between us and if it does, I tend to get worried about him. ha! But anyways... no matter how good of friends we are despite that, a person comes to crave the personal interaction with others.
Charlie has known some of the people in our "circle" as I like to call it, for upwards of 15 years. Pretty much everyone he knows, knows one another. In fact, it's hard to run into people who don't know our friends as I was shown today at the theater when a new kid working there didn't know who we were and a friend of ours who works there explained who we are. The conversation was rather amusing...
Charlie: "I used to work here. I've known Julian for a good 10 years now."I guess my topic got sort of all over the place. My real point is that I have friends now and a lot of them. It's all strange to me and I'm still not used to it. But when we're in a group of people, I'm suddenly so calm now and happy in ways I haven't been in a very long time. I find myself so lucky to have all of these friends who not only understand the type of people Charlie and I are, but that we have responsibilities - particularly to Hailey. And most importantly, I'm lucky to have friends who understand the child that Hailey is and that they all love her and many of them participate in her life.
New Kid: "Oh cool. Do you know a Jason Cote?"
Charlie: "Haha Yes. I've known him for 15 years."
New Kid: "Cool! he's my coach!" [On a side note, I find that hilarious and it makes me feel old.]
