It's almost my birthday and I'll whine if I want to.

My birthday is in two weeks on September 14th. It's coming quickly and it just crossed my mind. It's hit me that we won't be doing anything for my birthday. Not that this should bother me I guess. It's not like I have had a decent birthday in years anyway so what's one more? At least this year I'm not being held against my will in my bedroom and being told that I'm being punished.

I want Hailey home for my birthday. But that's a Monday and she has therapy. And I know if I tell her grandparents that I want her, they will say okay and substitute Monday the 14th in for Saturday the 12th when I'm supposed to have her - thus defeating the entire point. And if they didn't do that, it would mean I'd have to make an extra trip to Charleston to get her. She's worth it - every penny and every mile. But blah just the same.

I don't think Charlie has gotten me anything for my birthday - not that I blame him nor do I want to make him feel guilty. It's not like I was able to get him anything for his [although it was at his request that we didn't really celebrate it]. On the one hand, I want to do something fun and enjoy the day. On the other hand, it would leave me feeling all crappy and guilty for spending money just because it was my birthday.

I don't even know what I'd want. Well, I do - but it's not going to happen anyways.

Birthday Wishes

Today is our friend Brandy's birthday. [Happy birthday by the way!] I mentioned to Charlie that I didn't really care about what we did or didn't do for my birthday this year, so long as I had a decent day. And let's face it... it's not hard to make it a decent day in comparison to my birthday last year where my ex husband decided he didn't like my attitude and literally punished me by sending me to my bedroom. Yeah.. wish I were joking.

Every year, my best friend Chris makes me dinner - or at least, that's the general plan. It's usually me telling him "Hey, you owe me birthday dinner" and I go to his house to hang out and eat food and once upon a story, I used to stay the night and sleep on his couch. Incidentally, this can occur whether it be September (my birth month) or any other month of the year. Last year was no exception except for once, I planned to go hang out with him on my actual birthday because it wasn't like my ex husband was going to do a damn thing for me. Of course then my husband punished me and I wasn't allowed to go.

Well Charlie knows all of this. He knows that way back in the day I had a thing for Chris. He knows I've slept over on his couch a multitude of times. But yet he looks at me and here's how the conversation goes...

"You can even go hang out with Chris on your birthday if you want and sleep over."
"Heeeeelllllll naw.. I'm a married woman!"
"Well that didn't stop you from sleeping over at his house while you were married to Joe."
-----Pause-----
"Well that was different. I'm happily married now and I don't feel the need to get out of the house to get away from anyone."

Oops. I guess Charlie does have a point. That is pretty bad that I did that but nothing really happened. Either way, I don't think it's appropriate for me to go sleep over at another man's house - even if he's okay with it. I remember when Joe and I were dating and I went to hang out with Chris one night and he drove me home and I didn't let him come inside to use the bathroom. Joe didn't know him and it didn't feel right. *shrugs*

We don't really have the money to do anything big this year. In fact, I'm pretty sure Charlie will have to work. I just want to be able to have a nice day. I want it to be a happy day that I get to spend with him and Hailey. That's all I really need.

[By the way, my birthday isn't until September 14th so we've got a ways to go yet.]