Not So Wordless Wednesday - With Pictures!

I've seen so many other mommy bloggers participate in Wordless Wednesday and I really love what it's about. But I can't ever seem to come up with anything to post! I get the point of the Wordless Wednesday theme - to post a picture without any sort of explanation or caption to go with it. But then I start to post a picture I absolutely love and I feel the need to talk about the picture and why it's so important and why I chose it.

I guess I'm just not "deep" enough to participate. haha

I was looking through old pictures of Hailey, trying to choose one to post. I love them all and I could say so much about any of them. But the more I looked, the more I realized that I can't just choose one. She looks so happy in these and who doesn't love a happy, smiling baby!?

I remember when it was so easy to make Hailey laugh. She was so little and everything in the world was outright hilarious to her. A simple funny face was all it took. I remember when I used to arm myself with the camera, hide behind it and then pop out with "Boo!" and a silly face. She'd absolutely scream with laughter and I'd get a great picture. You do that now and she just looks at you like you're crazy. I'm sure every other mother in the world who tries to take pictures of their toddler can relate.

Remember that point where pictures were fun... just before your kids got too "mobile" and taking pictures was a difficult task [and often meant that a photo shoot of 50+ pictures resulted in only 3 or 4 good ones you'd actually send to your family]? Yeah. I'm talking that very brief time in your child's life when getting awesome pics was a breeze and they always looked great [and OMG Keri this totally excludes your always perfect looking children. Just kidding hun... sorta! haha]

So moms... lets go back to those days. The task is to go back in time and select your favorite pictures of your baby's smile [let's narrow it down to three for the sake of sanity]. Don't forget to link back here so other moms can share as well and most importantly, don't forget to leave a link to your post in my comments so we can all share!

Apparently I birthed Gene Simmons. This has ALWAYS been one of my favorite pics of Hailey.

She loved her first shoes. This was taken the same day she actually stood for the first time.


Can you believe this was taken in August 2007!? Look at that cute little tooth!

Visitation at its Best

Today was no less than heart wrenching [because really, who could resist that little face?]. It seems I'm on this weird mood cycle. I started noticing it last month - the wicked pattern of emotions I seem to be running.

The day of visitation I'm excited. I'm pumped and I'm ready to go! That feeling lasts until about 6pm when I realize I need to start getting Hailey ready to go back to her grandparents. By the time I make it to Charleston, I'm almost in tears. Once I see her driven away in their car, I break down every time. [Hell, I'm crying as I write this].

Days pass and for the first 4-5 days I'm okay. By 7-9, I'm great. After than I slowly begin to crumble. Two weeks lasts years these days to me. By the time I get to the evening before visitation, I'm an absolute disaster. I'm constantly crying. I think about Hailey constantly and all of this nonsense is eating away at me.

Thank God for my mother in law. I know sometimes she irritates me like every other person's mother in law, but deep down she's a really awesome lady and I'm very grateful for her. She knows how hard visitation days are for me. I came home and not only did she straighten up a bit, she has most of my laundry done and even changed the sheets on my bed and made it. It just doesn't get better than that.

At least now when I climb into bed tonight to bawl my eyes out, I can do so on some fresh linens. I know it isn't much to look at, but it's my bed and that makes it special. Ugh it looks so comfy - even just by looking at the picture. I think I shall have a swim in it shortly.


I'm so tired from today - emotionally, mentally, physically. Hailey had a fantastic time. We played hard, laughed hard. There was all sorts of jumping and dancing going on in this house. We ran around outside. We danced to music. We jumped on the bed [well she did anyways - could you imagine me doing that?]. We read books, watched Noggin and has nice naps. Lots of pictures were taken of said events.... Like these:

Watching Noggin. That smile lights rooms.

Miss Hailey-Mix-A-Lot playing with her music table.

Who doesn't love a good scream of laughter?

Worn out from the fun of it all.

To My Darling Daughter

When did you get so big? Just two weeks ago, you almost still looked like my baby. Now you're pushing the age of 3, already barely stuffed into your 3T clothing and size 7 1/2 shoes. At 36 inches tall you've only grown a mere 2 inches since January but you look completely different to me. Where the heck did that tan come from!? I could spend every day outside and I would never tan like that. Where did you get that ability from? It sure wasn't from me.

I look at you and I see this little girl now. You're forever my baby in my heart, but it's time for me to suck it up and admit it - you're all grown up now. You're truly a full fledged toddler. There is no going back to that little girl who slept in a crib, drank from a nuby sippy or needed mommy to do everything for her. Now you're helping me change you and dress you. You're running over to hold my hand so we can walk places together. You're climbing stairs, opening doors and feeding yourself and I can't change that as badly as I want to deep down.

I'm so incredibly proud of you. You have been through so much in the last year - a lot of it being my own fault. But you're still that strong, determined Hailey who loves life and wants nothing more than to jump and dance. Best of all, I know you still love me despite all of the times I didn't do my best. We could all learn a very big lesson from you. I know I still have a lot to learn. Let's make a trade. I'll be sure to teach you everything I know if you'll be sure to teach me everything you know. Deal?

I want you to know that no matter what happens this year, no matter how bad it is and no matter if things don't go the way we all hope and pray... I will be there for every moment no matter what it costs me and no matter how hard or how long I have to fight for it. Big or small, you can count on me to always deliver. I will continue to give up everything I own for the sake of making sure you never go without - until I have nothing left. And even then, I'll still make sure I find a way to assure you the best today and tomorrow possible.

It doesn't matter if you're 3 or 30, you'll always be my little girl - my baby Hailey. I love you.

Rich Food is Delicious

Tuesday, we decided to pretend like we're rich. Charlie bought cleaned, de-veined, de-tailed and cooked shrimp - $5.00/per pound. BEST shrimp I have ever had. It was so juicy and full of flavor. I'd honestly spend the money to do it all over again.

At first I thought the pound of shrimp was a lot of shrimp as it sat in a bowl, waiting to be added to the alfredo sauce we were to pair it with. We took some of the shrimp out and first made Shrimp Scampi for Charlie's mom (which was also declicious by the way). It still looked like a lot of shrimp. We finally add it to the huge wok-sized pan full of alfredo sauce and I suddenly questioned if we had enough shrimp. But in the end, it was just enough. In fact, Charlie and I have both eaten shrimp alfredo twice and we still have sauce and shrimp left over. So in the end, that $5.00 was well spent. It's made 5 plates of food so far!

Charlie will be upset that I am not showing his plate of food. He's extremely passionate about cooking and I know he'll want to show it off. But I think this was better put in a bowl and mine looked prettier! haha

Husband / Wife Association

I got re-married just shy of a month ago on July 8, 2009 (to the American folk, that's 07/08/09.. yeah we're clever). There were a lot of difficulties with the wedding and things that Charlie and I both had trouble coming to terms with. Before I really talk about them, I want it understood that we're past them - they are just important to what I have to blog about.

We weren't included in many decisions for the wedding. It seemed like every time Charlie and I made a decision, we were either argued with or completely ignored. While a couple members of Charlie's family really pitched in and made our wedding special, it bothered me a lot that I wasn't included in any of the planning. No one took me to go shopping for that ribbon to be used on my bouquet or the napkins to wrap around the eating utensils. I wasn't included when the little party favor bags were made or even designed for that matter. No one thought to ask my opinion on anything - and it was supposed to be my day. Okay, so I've been married before. But it didn't mean the day way to be any less special to me. And that's where this blog comes in.

It was Charlie's day too and he's still having a hard time associating me with the term "wife" and I admit I struggled with calling him my husband at first as well. It's a real shame because I know Charlie feels cheated. He expected it to be a wonderful day full of happy memories and besides the actual "I Do" part and Hailey being there, I can't say I have many happy memories of the occasion - hell I hardly have memories of it at all.

It just seemed like the whole day was a struggle. In the end, it really doesn't matter. We're married and we're so deeply in love with one another. That's all that's important. I just wish the day had been better - for him most importantly. In the end, the following picture is all that really matters.

Other Moms & Their Blogs

So I just joined up with BlogFrog. It's some sort of social networking ring for bloggers. Looked promising and in a way, it made me feel better to know that there are other moms out there who write about themselves and the lives of their families. Then again, it also made me feel like crap.

Look at them all with their cutesy pictures of their children. They all sound so happy and really have it together. Or perhaps that's just my perception since I'm in such a negative place right now. Who is going to want to read about some stay at home mom who doesn't have custody of her child due to some stupid custody battle that doesn't even make sense? I must sound so pathetic.

This is rather discouraging for me. My point isn't to necessarily attract readers, but then again it is. I mean, if I didn't hope someone read this then I would just write it all privately on my hard drive where no one would ever see it. The point is to get people involved. They should read and feel like someone else has been there. But I read these other mom's blogs and it makes me remember that they are in a place I used to be in, am not any more and don't know when or if I ever will be again.

Well damnit, here is MY cutesy picture to cheer myself up! Yes, my lovely daughter picking her nose. Can't wait until she gets her first boyfriend. *evil grin*