Yet another story about Patches, our "outside cat"...
I've been dancing around Charlie trying to figure out how he felt about keeping Patches. I didn't know if he wanted her or if he was just keeping her around because I've become so attached to her [and her to myself]. But he told me today that he'd like to keep her.
That's great and it's the answer I was hoping for. But it's not the happy, perfect scene you'd imagine. While Charlie would like to keep her, he wants her to remain outdoors for now in hopes that "in a few months" we'll be able to afford to spend the money on her shots. I'm not at all happy with that. I don't agree with that at all.
I'm stubborn and I'm a very now or never sort of woman. I believe in seizing opportunities because I know if we don't do what we want now, the chance for it won't come around when we finally decide to act. I know this because it always seems to happen that way to me. Beyond my stubbornness is that voice in the back of my head screaming to me "That's not fair." - to Patches that is.
I keep thinking about our own Flora and Cinders being inside and not having to run under the house when it rains. I remember just a few months ago how really upset Charlie was [more like completely devastated] when Cinders took a trip under the house and we couldn't get him to come out. I remember it raining and I remember what a stressful and upsetting day it was for all of us - Cinders included. So how fair is it for him to say that Patches is just fine living under our house?
Oh wait... it's not.
I want to keep Patches. I'd very much love to give her a home. I'd like very much to have a new kitty to love on and take care of [And at this point in the year after all I have been through, I think in a lot of ways, I need Patches]. But I can't just force her to live outside for the next few months because I only hope my financial situation will change and I'll be able to more readily spend the money on the things she needs in order to be an indoor cat.
I told Charlie that before his vacation is over, we need to make a decision. Either we take Patches to get her shots at the SPCA and bring her into our home, or we take her to the SPCA where they will take care of her and find her a good home. If we really love that darn kitty as much as I think we do, than that's our only options.
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
I Be Rockin' Them Beats... Too Fast
Since my diagnosis on Wednesday, I have been trying to take it easy and trying to pay closer attention to my body and what sets it off. Let's just say that yesterday's constant roof banging was not what the doctor ordered.
Most of yesterday was spent trying to keep my cool and trying to keep my heart rate down. I totally didn't succeed... not even close. I was tired from my heart beating so rapidly. I was anxious and far too overstimulated from all of the loud banging and the heavy thuds that caused pieces of my ceiling spackle to fall to the floor [damnit, I mopped all of the hardwood floors the day before too].
The banging started at 7:30am and stopped only twice that day for about 30 minutes each time. By about 4:30pm, I'd grown completely overwhelmed and I somehow managed to crawl into Charlie's bed and fall asleep. Charlie says they left around 5:30 or so. So for 9 hours yesterday, there was banging going on here. I woke up around 8pm and I felt a little better, but I was feeling the after effects of the day for sure.
A lot about yesterday reminded me of my ex husband's snoring and how the noise of it affected me. I realize now that while the noise itself was incredibly annoying, that was really but a fraction of the problem for me. I've had this heart problem likely for years now [I can't remember a time when I didn't have the dizzy spells anyway]. I remember the tightening of my chest and the anxious feeling that made me feel so sick. I just didn't realize that there was more to it and it was only yesterday that I put 2 and 2 together.
I can't wait until the 15th so I can find out what is going on. I'm so scared and I keep thinking about what will happen to Hailey if something should happen to me - which only gets me more upset and feeling like crap.
Most of yesterday was spent trying to keep my cool and trying to keep my heart rate down. I totally didn't succeed... not even close. I was tired from my heart beating so rapidly. I was anxious and far too overstimulated from all of the loud banging and the heavy thuds that caused pieces of my ceiling spackle to fall to the floor [damnit, I mopped all of the hardwood floors the day before too].
The banging started at 7:30am and stopped only twice that day for about 30 minutes each time. By about 4:30pm, I'd grown completely overwhelmed and I somehow managed to crawl into Charlie's bed and fall asleep. Charlie says they left around 5:30 or so. So for 9 hours yesterday, there was banging going on here. I woke up around 8pm and I felt a little better, but I was feeling the after effects of the day for sure.
A lot about yesterday reminded me of my ex husband's snoring and how the noise of it affected me. I realize now that while the noise itself was incredibly annoying, that was really but a fraction of the problem for me. I've had this heart problem likely for years now [I can't remember a time when I didn't have the dizzy spells anyway]. I remember the tightening of my chest and the anxious feeling that made me feel so sick. I just didn't realize that there was more to it and it was only yesterday that I put 2 and 2 together.
I can't wait until the 15th so I can find out what is going on. I'm so scared and I keep thinking about what will happen to Hailey if something should happen to me - which only gets me more upset and feeling like crap.
