Since my diagnosis on Wednesday, I have been trying to take it easy and trying to pay closer attention to my body and what sets it off. Let's just say that yesterday's constant roof banging was not what the doctor ordered.
Most of yesterday was spent trying to keep my cool and trying to keep my heart rate down. I totally didn't succeed... not even close. I was tired from my heart beating so rapidly. I was anxious and far too overstimulated from all of the loud banging and the heavy thuds that caused pieces of my ceiling spackle to fall to the floor [damnit, I mopped all of the hardwood floors the day before too].
The banging started at 7:30am and stopped only twice that day for about 30 minutes each time. By about 4:30pm, I'd grown completely overwhelmed and I somehow managed to crawl into Charlie's bed and fall asleep. Charlie says they left around 5:30 or so. So for 9 hours yesterday, there was banging going on here. I woke up around 8pm and I felt a little better, but I was feeling the after effects of the day for sure.
A lot about yesterday reminded me of my ex husband's snoring and how the noise of it affected me. I realize now that while the noise itself was incredibly annoying, that was really but a fraction of the problem for me. I've had this heart problem likely for years now [I can't remember a time when I didn't have the dizzy spells anyway]. I remember the tightening of my chest and the anxious feeling that made me feel so sick. I just didn't realize that there was more to it and it was only yesterday that I put 2 and 2 together.
I can't wait until the 15th so I can find out what is going on. I'm so scared and I keep thinking about what will happen to Hailey if something should happen to me - which only gets me more upset and feeling like crap.
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