I spent the last few hours enjoying what sleep I could manage next to my husband. You read that correctly. I mean Charlie and I normally don't sleep in the same bed.
It started off with the whole custody battle issue. South Carolina law said I couldn't have overnight guests of the male variety. No problem. We actually live in a duplex [it's more like a house, with a mother in law attachment] so I literally put up a couple of temporary walls and sealed the two sides off from one another. Each "house" already had it's own address anyways and Charlie and I signed separate leasing agreements. Problem solved. Charlie would go to his mom's house and sleep there at night in his own bed.
Then we got married and I immediately took down one of the walls - specifically the one that links his bedroom to my office [the bedroom he's using used to be Hailey's and in time, it'll be converted into Hailey's new play room]. Except... Charlie still sleeps in there 99% of nights.
Charlie and I are both big people. I'm overweight and he's literally 6 feet, 8 inches tall. Sleeping comfortably in a "full" size bed only lasts for so long - usually no more than a few hours. In order to have enough room for us to both sleep, we need at least a "queen" sized bed [and I could argue that a "king" size would be more appropriate]. The bed Charlie sleeps in is a "full" and he's been sleeping in it for most of his life. I'm fairly certain this bed is older than I am. The bed I sleep in is a "queen" but we've attempted to sleep in this bed together [which I know it really is older than I am] and we both wake up in a ton of pain when we do.
I guess we've found it easier to just sleep in separate beds although we do plan to move his bed into my bedroom once it's finally painted. It's kind of silly to me, but what else are we going to do? It's not like we can afford a new bed right now. I'm sure it's probably not good for one's marriage for the spouses to sleep apart from each other. I've had experience with that due to my previous marriage. I just don't see what else we can do.
I'm really worried about moving Charlie in my room. Just a few minutes ago, he was snoring and I tried so hard to ignore it. I can't. It's a big trigger for me. I cannot handle that sound. My ex husband has sleep apnea and he snored loudly and we couldn't sleep together. I had to hear snoring at any hour of the day. I went days without sleep because of his snoring. So I just cannot handle it when Charlie snores. It's rare... but it sends me completely over the top. I know that at least right now, I can go to my room if he's snoring and sleep comfortably in there by myself.
We really need a new bed. Why must something as basic as a bed be so expensive?
7 comments:
Beds are exensive because its a need, since we need our sleep, people make beds to optimize our sleeping, wheither more comfortably, etc. At least this is my opinion
i have bought a used mattress and boxspring before. They kinda sucked but you couldnt beat the price! And we always just put them on the floor. When I moved into my current apartment my parents bought me a bed frame! Then I really felt like a big girl :D
I used to have a wonderful, king size bed - euro top mattress. I loved it and I miss it so much. My mom bought it for me in Oct 2006 as an early Christmas gift.
I'd been sleeping in the same bed since I was 10 years old and well... it really was rather gross to me that my mom had sex in my bed before I did. She kind of owed me.
My ex-husband originally offered it to me in the divorce, but then suddenly he claimed it had been somehow damaged and he told me that he threw it away. $3,000 bed and he threw it away? Either he's lying or he's even more stupid than I realized.
If we're going to buy a bed, I'd rather spend a lot and "do it right" because I really think a good bed is a real investment. I had my old bed for.. pfft... 11 years. That's a long time. lol
I'm pretty lucky. Ecamer's family gives us furniture hand-me-downs. They have a bed/couch for a few years and then they give it to us because they decide they want a new one. One thing I will say, is that they have begun purchasing more expensive brands because of quality. You really do get what you pay for. The most recent be they have given us, they had for 10 years and now we have had it for 6 more. It's in great shape. So my advise is dont settle for less.
Will it make you feel any better to know that J and I don't sleep in the same bed? And we have a really nice King sized mattress set. We usually start off together, but then I'll want to go to sleep and he still wants to watch TV (he cant fall asleep unless it's on). I cant sleep if there's any noise what-so-ever so that doesn't work well. Plus he snores and grinds his teeth something awful (more like clacks them together all night- it's the grossest, most annoying sound ever!) and moves around so much that it's like sleeping with a fish flopping around out of water :P The entire bed shakes up and down every 5 minutes for the entire 8 hours.
We've just learned over the years that we get along better if we sleep in separate rooms. That sounds so crazy! But it's true. Now we don't start off every day hating each other because he kept me up all night long and I woke him up 500 times elbowing him in the ribs to get him to shut up, making us both exhausted and irritated.
I know it's not conventional, and lots of people would say it's bad for a marriage, but it works for us!
And seeing as we had 3 kids in 5 years I don't think it's been much of a hindrance towards intimacy either if you catch my drift ;)
Ya know... You're a stronger woman than I. One of the (many, many) reasons for divorcing Joe as absolutely shallow as it was.. his snoring. I couldn't handle it. I STILL can't handle snoring. It's a major trigger for me. It makes me want to hurt people when I hear it (unless it's Hailey.. her snoring is funny). Anyways... Joe and I spent a year doing that - except going to another room didn't help. He was so loud that I could hear him anywhere in the house. But you know all about that from "blogs of the past" as I've come to call them. :D
Charlie and I actually sleep well together in the queen size bed if the bed itself were only more comfortable. I think if we just had a little more room and a mattress that didn't sink in by breathing on it, we'd be fine. lol
My hubby and I share a queen sized bed, but we sleep with separate blankets. We're both blanket hogs, and we end up wrestling each other in our sleep. So, we came to the conclusion that we needed our own blankets. I'm only 5'1", but I can take up that queen size bed by myself. I thrash around a lot in my sleep. I even punched my hubby in his nose in my sleep once...
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