My Crazy Body

I think it's time I go to the doctor... like NOW.

I've had a very long, on-going battle with my body. I can't remember the last time everything was operating in the way that it should. Oh wait.. yes I can.

Before Hailey was born.

Don't get me wrong - it's not her fault my body is out of whack. It's just a series of events that have caused me to get worse as time has gone on. I should start off by saying that I once suffered from PCOS [Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome] but have since recovered [I think anyways. Least I'm no longer in pain.] I was diagnosed at the age of 15, told I'd either have trouble conceiving or worse, never have any children at all [guess I disproved that theory]. My periods were really crazy during high school. I'd have one for weeks - sometimes months. Most of it was spent in agonizing pain that to this day, I consider more painful than labor [seriously, labor is a joke compared to that].

Then I got pregnant with Christopher. It was the first time in my life that I'd gone so long without the pain [and ironically replaced it with a new kind of pain haha]. But after he was born, I never again had issues with my cycle. I didn't get the horrible cramps any more and beyond the regular gripes about it, I really didn't have any problems with my period any more.

But then of course, I get pregnant with Hailey. About 48 hours [actually, I think it was a little less than that] after giving birth to Hailey, I was given the Depo Provera shot [for those of you who don't know what this is, it's the birth control shot]. I wasn't given a lot of information about it and being that I'm not a doctor, I didn't realize there was a lot more to this shot that I needed to know [like the fact that it shouldn't have been administered to me until Hailey was at least 6 weeks old to give me time to get a good milk production going]. Like so many people I know, I just wanted a form of birth control that I didn't have to think about. I'd been on a low dose birth control for YEARS due to my PCOS so I was pretty sick of taking pill after pill. I had the option of the patch, the pill, or the shot. Of course my natural instinct was to take the shot.

So months pass. I don't immediately get my period, but I've been through all of this before so I don't worry about it. It can take a few months before your body regulates after pregnancy. It's gonna sound crazy, but thanks to MyMonthlyCycles.com I actually have some of my periods from after Hailey was born, recorded on a calendar. I know, that's crazy.

So I get my first period on February 11, 2007. It's about as normal as it gets. But then I completely skip March and don't get another another April 24th. It lasts for 7 days. Then I get another on May 9th. Are you kidding me? This is when the problems really start for me.

• June 6th
• June 18th
• June 27th
• July 10th

Four separate periods - same month [plus July]. Each last 4-7 days, stop for a few days and then start again with a vengeance.

I go to the doctor in July 2007. I've had enough of them telling me to "wait and see what my body does". I know what it's doing [and most certainly what it's not]. I get a ton of blood drawn for testing - pregnancy, fertility panel, hormones and all sorts of stuff. They tell me I'm fine. They tell me again to wait and see what my body does. It's important to mention that the depo shot only lasts like 3 months and you have to get a new one. So in March, I should have gotten a new shot. I didn't based on how badly my body was reacting to it. So we're talking MONTHS my body has been off it by now.

Then we get...

• August 16th
• September 24th
• October 10th
• October 26th

So it looks like my body is trying to regulate itself but it's having a hard time. And then my periods STOP. I don't get a period again for the rest of 2007 and for all of 2008. [Believe me, I spent a lot of money on pregnancy tests that year.]

Switching gears... I have gained a lot of weight in the last two years. A lot of it is because I sit on my butt too much. A lot of it is because I don't exercise enough. A good portion of it is from stress. I don't doubt that my physical changes involve the Depo shot and I don't doubt that in some ways, it doesn't. I imagine there are a lot of complicated reasons for my problems. I have no doubt that they have all bounced off one another.

March 31, 2009 - I got my first period in ages [seriously.. since October 2007 so about a year and a half]. Ironically, this was also the day I went in to have my divorce from Joe finalized. I'm standing in the court room and I start to feel funny. Court ends and the divorce is final. I'm SO happy, SO relieved and I guess my body was too. I nearly destroyed my tan pants. [ew that's nasty.. sorry]

Anyways...

My body has been crazy since then. I haven't had a period since and no I'm not pregnant. But what really concerns me is the dizzy spells I've been having and the blood pressure problems. I get excited or upset and my knees buckle. Charlie has caught me from hitting the floor on numerous occasions. I don't doubt my sudden weight gain has something to do with it.

Just this week, I've begun experiencing weird head aches. Okay, they aren't really painful. My brain feels like it's swimming in water - like it's not getting enough oxygen or something. My eyeballs feel like someone is squeezing them. It's all just a weird pressure in my head and it has me very worried - enough that I'm actually considering going to the emergency room today if this Tylenol doesn't do something for it.

I need to be looked at. I need at least a general checkup and I need a new gynecologist. I haven't even seen one since July 2007 and there is just no excuse for that [except that my ex husband was a controlling asshole who didn't allow me to renew my military ID so I could go to the doctor].