Last night, I had a nightmare within a nightmare. It was probably the most vivid dream I've ever had - and that's saying something because my dreams have always been extremely vivid. You know how in a lot of dreams, you are dreaming about someone who isn't you... but yet they are you in the dream? It was one of those. Except in this case, I had two dreams - specifically a nightmare within a nightmare.
It started off that the woman in the dream was at some sort of Christmas office party. Gifts were being given to the employees - a set of kitchen knives in some sort of small duffel bag. But as it turned out, the woman got fired at the party in front of everyone and she was really embarrassed. To make up for that, she caused a scene and said she was still taking her gift because she'd earned it. Somehow during the scene, she ends up passing out, which is when she begins to have a nightmare.
She finds herself in some sort of old cabin and in a long, flowing white nightgown. She walks past a door (which by the way, was totally the back door to Charlie's mom's side of the house. In fact, there were several rooms within the nightmare that were my own home). As she's walking past the door, she catches a glimpse of what is actually her reflection but she doesn't realize it at first because it's a man looking back at her. She runs from the door only to catch her reflection in a mirror and realizes it's her... except she looks at her hands and what she sees isn't what the reflection is showing.
As she wanders the house, she comes to a room and finds a man crying all alone. She startles him but it's soon somehow determined that they need to stick together because they aren't there to harm one another. They spend some time talking but I could never really make out what the subject was. Then they start hearing a voice - a sort of creepy, squeaky voice almost that of a child. They can't make out what the voice is saying so they begin to walk around the house trying to find it, fearing a child may be alone in the house.
They find the room that the voice is coming from. I don't really remember what the voice was saying, but it freaked the characters out. The man goes first and slowly opens the door. He walks in with the woman close behind him. There is no one in the room. It was a fairly large bedroom with very light pink walls, curtains and a bed. On the floor they found what appeared to be a large group of black wigs stuck together. It was just this mass of nappy looking hair spread out on the floor. They get closer and suddenly the voice stops. Then the mass of hair jumps up from the floor and lets out a huge scream and lunges at the woman.
The character is startled and starts to wake up from the nightmare. As she fights to wake up, so do I. I could feel her struggling and I tried to scream in my sleep. I felt the pressure of my lungs trying to scream out so someone in the house would wake me from the nightmare. Then my eyes shot open and I was awake, but I felt like someone was holding me down by my shoulders and keeping me from sitting up. It was another 30 seconds before I was completely awake and able to function.
I sat up in bed. My body hurt still. My throat felt like I had been screaming but neither Charlie nor his mom heard any screaming last night. I was asleep for approximately 20 minutes. I must have been on the very brim of REM sleep which is probably why I had such a hard time forcing myself awake. Whatever the reason, it was friggin scary. I've had much more abstract dreams but never one quite so vivid and real feeling. It was like I could touch things in the nightmare and knew what they felt like.
I managed to go back to sleep but I feel like crap today.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Why We Sleep Apart
I spent the last few hours enjoying what sleep I could manage next to my husband. You read that correctly. I mean Charlie and I normally don't sleep in the same bed.
It started off with the whole custody battle issue. South Carolina law said I couldn't have overnight guests of the male variety. No problem. We actually live in a duplex [it's more like a house, with a mother in law attachment] so I literally put up a couple of temporary walls and sealed the two sides off from one another. Each "house" already had it's own address anyways and Charlie and I signed separate leasing agreements. Problem solved. Charlie would go to his mom's house and sleep there at night in his own bed.
Then we got married and I immediately took down one of the walls - specifically the one that links his bedroom to my office [the bedroom he's using used to be Hailey's and in time, it'll be converted into Hailey's new play room]. Except... Charlie still sleeps in there 99% of nights.
Charlie and I are both big people. I'm overweight and he's literally 6 feet, 8 inches tall. Sleeping comfortably in a "full" size bed only lasts for so long - usually no more than a few hours. In order to have enough room for us to both sleep, we need at least a "queen" sized bed [and I could argue that a "king" size would be more appropriate]. The bed Charlie sleeps in is a "full" and he's been sleeping in it for most of his life. I'm fairly certain this bed is older than I am. The bed I sleep in is a "queen" but we've attempted to sleep in this bed together [which I know it really is older than I am] and we both wake up in a ton of pain when we do.
I guess we've found it easier to just sleep in separate beds although we do plan to move his bed into my bedroom once it's finally painted. It's kind of silly to me, but what else are we going to do? It's not like we can afford a new bed right now. I'm sure it's probably not good for one's marriage for the spouses to sleep apart from each other. I've had experience with that due to my previous marriage. I just don't see what else we can do.
I'm really worried about moving Charlie in my room. Just a few minutes ago, he was snoring and I tried so hard to ignore it. I can't. It's a big trigger for me. I cannot handle that sound. My ex husband has sleep apnea and he snored loudly and we couldn't sleep together. I had to hear snoring at any hour of the day. I went days without sleep because of his snoring. So I just cannot handle it when Charlie snores. It's rare... but it sends me completely over the top. I know that at least right now, I can go to my room if he's snoring and sleep comfortably in there by myself.
We really need a new bed. Why must something as basic as a bed be so expensive?
It started off with the whole custody battle issue. South Carolina law said I couldn't have overnight guests of the male variety. No problem. We actually live in a duplex [it's more like a house, with a mother in law attachment] so I literally put up a couple of temporary walls and sealed the two sides off from one another. Each "house" already had it's own address anyways and Charlie and I signed separate leasing agreements. Problem solved. Charlie would go to his mom's house and sleep there at night in his own bed.
Then we got married and I immediately took down one of the walls - specifically the one that links his bedroom to my office [the bedroom he's using used to be Hailey's and in time, it'll be converted into Hailey's new play room]. Except... Charlie still sleeps in there 99% of nights.
Charlie and I are both big people. I'm overweight and he's literally 6 feet, 8 inches tall. Sleeping comfortably in a "full" size bed only lasts for so long - usually no more than a few hours. In order to have enough room for us to both sleep, we need at least a "queen" sized bed [and I could argue that a "king" size would be more appropriate]. The bed Charlie sleeps in is a "full" and he's been sleeping in it for most of his life. I'm fairly certain this bed is older than I am. The bed I sleep in is a "queen" but we've attempted to sleep in this bed together [which I know it really is older than I am] and we both wake up in a ton of pain when we do.
I guess we've found it easier to just sleep in separate beds although we do plan to move his bed into my bedroom once it's finally painted. It's kind of silly to me, but what else are we going to do? It's not like we can afford a new bed right now. I'm sure it's probably not good for one's marriage for the spouses to sleep apart from each other. I've had experience with that due to my previous marriage. I just don't see what else we can do.
I'm really worried about moving Charlie in my room. Just a few minutes ago, he was snoring and I tried so hard to ignore it. I can't. It's a big trigger for me. I cannot handle that sound. My ex husband has sleep apnea and he snored loudly and we couldn't sleep together. I had to hear snoring at any hour of the day. I went days without sleep because of his snoring. So I just cannot handle it when Charlie snores. It's rare... but it sends me completely over the top. I know that at least right now, I can go to my room if he's snoring and sleep comfortably in there by myself.
We really need a new bed. Why must something as basic as a bed be so expensive?
