The say "Money is the means, not the end" but what do you do when it becomes both? I'd like to think we live within an appropriate budget. We rarely eat out - maybe once a month on average. We spend an appropriate amount of money on groceries and household needs. We're very strict with our money. Yet we never seem to have enough.
Charlie is so smart with such incredible potential. He's so unbelievably book smart. He's taught a forensics class for one of the top forensic scientists in the world. His grades in college were outrageous. He has so much passion for so many things. And yet, he sits on a phone all day, taking calls for AT&T 411. It makes no sense. It sure as hell isn't what he wants to do with his life but we live in such a small town, it's all there really is. Don't even get me started on the terrible pay.
The economy is atrocious. You so much as breathe wrong and you get fired. I work from home and no one can fire me, but even I'm having a rough time with my jobs. No one has money for print on demand t-shirts or virtual clothing in some virtual world. People are too busy trying to keep up with their mortgages and car payments. So now I'm bringing in much less money while certain bills like those for electricity and gas climb in numbers due to the summer months.
"Oy" at how much I pay for child support. Don't get me wrong... I understand perfectly well what the point of child support is and I certainly am happy to do my share financially. That said, Hailey's grandparents are collecting $200/month from me, and $400/month from my ex husband. I know darn well Hailey isn't costing them $600 every month no matter how many times she gets sick and needs medicine (because it's all free, courtesy of the U.S. Army anyways). And my ex husband is actually supposed to be paying $800/month and I $300 according to the financial declarations. Supposedly Roberta is accepting less to be nice. So $1,100... Seriously!? That's the equivalent to a full time job for some. My daughter is 2 1/2 and she would make more per month than I do.
How on earth is anyone supposed to afford to even feed and shelter themselves if they had to pay that kind of money? My financial declaration states that I make $1,000 per month. I wish I made even close to that these days. But even if I did make that much, the $300 I would have to pay would leave me with just $700/month. No one can live off of that. Rent alone for most people costs more than that. Much as I hate my ex husband, I actually feel a little sorry for him. That's a lot of money he'll owe me every month for Hailey.
Even worse right now is how much money I owe people. In particular, I owe my best friend Chris a sick amount of money that he so generously loaned to me so I could afford to hire a lawyer so I had even a fighting chance to win this custody battle. I told him I would pay him back as soon as Charlie got his taxes done. But then more financial problems came up and that money had to be spent. I owe Charlie's mom a little more than a grand as well. That money went to the cost of the bill for Hailey's attorney and my portion of the cost of the psychological evaluation Hailey's grandparents were so desperate for me to have (I'm sane by the way).
Money is beyond tight. There is no such thing as tightening our budget. After regular stuff like rent, food, cable, utilities, the truck payment and the cell phones... there is little is any room for anything else. It costs us a fortune to go get Hailey and bring her home to top it all off - although in all honesty, I can't complain because I'd spend 3 times the amount to get her, even if it meant going without some meals.
Money is no longer the means by which we live. It's a constant struggle and thought.
0 comments:
Post a Comment