It Won't Be Like This For Long

Thing song hits me hard in a million ways. I sat listening to it with tears absolutely pouring down my face. My husband played it for me yesterday - and it was bad enough that I was missing Hailey more than I do day to day.



Losing Hailey made me realize how much I took her for granted - everything about her from her laughs, her smiles and even the moments when she misbehaved. I didn't realize just how much I had until it wasn't there. I really hate myself for that.

I'll never forget the first time I got to hold her after that horrible day in court. I held her tighter than ever, breathed her in so deeply and cried - because she didn't even smell like my baby any more. The light had left her eyes and this cold, lost Hailey was staring back at me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. And even when she did things she shouldn't or misbehaved... I couldn't even get mad. I was just so happy to be apart of it.

I'm thankful that I was given this chance in some ways. I've never appreciated my daughter more than I do now. I've never known more that being her mommy is what I was meant to do with my life. I never realized just how good I really had it and how truly blessed I was until in a blink, it was all gone. And when I see other women with their kids and they are yelling at them or getting frustrated and angry, I wonder if they realize just how much they really love their children deep down or if they have any idea what it would feel like to not have them anymore. I wonder if they have any clue just how bad things could really be or how lost they could become.

So I listen to this song and it reminds me that not only am I missing out on everything going on with Hailey today, but those are memories I can never get back. I can't push the clock back to January 13th and start over like nothing happened. When Hailey is given back, I have to start from where she left off and try desperately to create new memories that can never replace the ones I missed.

I encourage you to look at your children. Remember all those times you complained about the terrible 2's or 3's? Remember when you said "I can't wait until s/he is out of that phase" or complained about your hormonal teenagers? Please try to remember It won't be like this for long.

Lyrics:
He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
‘Cause it won't be like this for long

Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This’ll only last a week or two

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won’t even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

Some day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long
It won’t be like this for long