One of my friends is clearly going through something. I have no idea what it is and I doubt she wants to tell me. It seems like any time I ask, I hardly get any details any ways so I don't think she really wants me to know - for whatever reason that may be. In fact, she's divulged more to my husband than me in the last six months.
It's not her fault, but I've had a hard time being her friend this year. I don't want anyone, including her to misunderstand that statement. Again, it's not her fault. It has to do with what I'm going through and the stressful events of my life. Maybe that's why she doesn't tell me things. I had a really hard time after Hailey was taken. She continued with the normal complaints of motherhood - things she had every right and reason to rant about. It wasn't her fault that I was hurting and she could never understand why it was hurting so much [nor would I ever want her to].
And again, she's clearly going through something. Her emotional roller coaster is getting to me in an odd way. It's made me want to shut her out again because I can't handle her ups and downs on top of my own. And that's not her fault - not in the least. But she's literally talking about how happy she is at 1pm and crying at 3pm. She goes from being on top of the world to saying her world has fallen to pieces and right back to superb without so much as skipping a beat. I can't handle it.
I don't really even know why it's bothering me so much. Perhaps because her and I share such very similar lives up until this year? Is it because I care so deeply that I feel excited for her when she's happy and sad for her when she's upset? It's causing me my own emotional roller coaster and I just cannot handle it. Lord knows I'm riding my own right now.
I've considered un-following her on Twitter so I don't have to read the literal up to the minute updates on her life. I don't want to seem like a bad friend. I really have my reasons. I don't want her to feel as if I'm not being supportive. I'd go to the end of the world to be supportive of this woman. But in order to do that, I need a concrete story - not snippets of life updates that go up and down at the drop of a hat. I'm very conflicted and I hope that should she read this, she understands my point of view and doesn't feel hurt.
2 comments:
You know, I thought you were ... well, an awful person, but reading this, (and yes, I read almost everything) I see the side of you I had no idea existed, you're just like all of us, human, but your persona on IMVU is...well, shitty to say the least. Just being honest, it is. But, I like to read what you write, you have the emotion in it, you're human and ... have problems like the rest of us. Good work.
You know...I don't have any kids. Closest thing I have is my dog and my niece. I go see him like once a week, and I see her just as often, sometimes even have her spend the weekend with me, she's my rock and I talk to her all the time. If she were to be taken from her Mom and I didn't get to see her, I couldn't even imagine. So I can't even fathom how much pain your situation is causing you. I would think/hope a person who IS a Mother would be even more understanding to what's going on with you, especially a Mother who is your friend... Perhaps she's not talking to you about it cuz she knows you already have so much on your plate? I don't know...just random thoughts from my tired head, lol. *Hugs*
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