World of Warcraft (And Why It Sucks)

My last blog got me thinking about one woman in particular that I used to be friends with. I know what I just said about stalking, but I will defend myself and say that I read her blogs because I really was concerned for her. I'm not judging her whatsoever and I don't hate her or anything like that.

I remember a good while back, this woman [we'll call her "Elle"] had come to me because her husband wanted to play World of Warcraft. Like my ex-husband, hers was in the military and sought to play this game with his other military buddies. She came to me, because she knew of the serious issues I was having in my own marriage regarding this game. I cautioned her not to allow him to play it.

Some of you are probably asking yourselves why. Some of you sadly know the reason because you've probably experienced it all for yourselves. World of Warcraft [we'll call it WoW from now on] is what I atribute at least 95% of the problems in my previous marriage to. It was the starting point for everything and usually the reason for argument. Don't get me wrong - my ex-husband's addictive personality played a key role as well and I can't blame everything on the game, but still it had a lot to do with the problem.

My ex husband Joe became horribly addicted to this game. I'm a gamer myself and I have played WoW myself - both before, during and even after it became a problem. But unlike him, I knew when to quit. I knew when to turn the game off. I left my computer when Hailey needed me. I was the one tending to her needs. I didn't let it consume my time, thoughts and energy the way he did.

Some of the lowest points in my marriage to him, were on the days he played WoW for 24+ hours straight. I only wish I were exaggerating. He became completely obsessed. WoW was all he ever talked about any more. Even in the early days of his addiction when I managed to get him away from his computer and out of the house, five minutes couldn't pass without him talking about the game. He talked about it from the moment his eyes open to the time he closed them - and often even in his sleep. He stopped hanging out with any of his friends - unless of course they played WoW too and he just hung out with them on the game instead. He stopped befriending people who didn't play. During the times he actually had to go to work [which by the way, was RARE] he spent a lot of it talking to guys who play WoW.

It got really out of hand. He got really violent, abusive and uncaring towards me or to Hailey. He literally spent every waking moment possible on this game. Sadly, there are more details I could share, but I'm not going to. It makes me absolutely sick when I think about all of it. I have a huge knot in my stomache as I write this.

The point is, "Elle" knew what I'd been through. She'd heard all of my stories. But yet for some reason, she chanced it and she told her husband he could play anyways. She gave him rules. She gave him conditions. He broke every one of them and now they are getting divorced.

Shocking. [Insert hint of sarcasm here]

But I guess I can't judge. I allowed Charlie to play it after we got together. Hell, I even played it with him. It was like night and day. Charlie always logged off at an appropriate hour - he knew what time he had to be up for work. He did other things with me. We still went out as a family. We still ate dinner together at an actual table. We played for maybe a couple of hours per night [trust me... it's difficult to get anything accomplished without spending at least an hour doing something]. Point is, I realize not all people become that obsessed with it. Personality and discipline have a lot to do with it.

But the fact that she was even concerned and even thought it might cause a problem... she should have followed her gut on that one. I feel bad for her. I know what it's like and how much it hurts. We may not be friends any more, but I do wish I could take that away for her.