This Blog Sucks

I have been browsing a lot of blogs since I started this one and I have to say - I'm intimidated. I've been blogging for years and now I wonder if I should have gone public much sooner. I have this whole goal in mind - write the public blog, get readers, write a book and hopefully publish it and earn good money off of it. I thought it was a good, solid idea in which I could make happen. I suppose I still can, but I didn't realize the competition was so... steep.

I keep looking at my page asking myself...

• Does my page look too gloomy?
• Am I not sprucing up my posts enough?
• Should I take a more whimsical approach?
• Is my writing even any good?

Let's face it... there are thousands of blogs and apparently a good portion of them are like mine in that they are the literal online diary of someone's life and family. So maybe they aren't as open as mine - but they feature great writing, fun pictures and the sparkle required to keep people interested. Am I up for the challenge so I can stand amongst those blogs?

What makes me think I'm so special anyways? I have no idea. I thought this was all a rather unique idea. I thought I'd found exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Finally, I could encompass so many of my passions and the majority of my talents into one thing. It's not doubt I am talented (not trying to rub my ego here) but the question remains - am I anywhere near as talented as the other ladies who have apparently been doing this for years? You don't need to answer that and I don't need anyone to make me feel better. I'm really just thinking out loud.

I keep stretching myself out and seeking new things that I find thrill me. This is one of them. I really want to do this and I want it to be something I do for many years to come. I mean, I've already been blogging for years anyways - I just want to make it something that other people can enjoy too and let's be honest here - something that brings in at least a little money each month.

From all of the blogs I've come across this week, I've found some great networking sites for blog writers - some even specifically for women or even just moms. But going to these places just makes me feel more intimidated. I went to BlogHer and I was absolutely blown out of the water. There are women blogging and participating in subjects that I know nothing about in my wildest dreams! How am I supposed to compete with that? These women are fantastic writers and highly intellectual. Sure, I'm smart and I'd like to think my writing is half-way decent but when push comes to shove, I know they have the upper hand.

I'm happy knowing that at least a few people are following along. I guess that's good considering I started writing this blog on August 1st. But I think I'll feel better when I am finally blogging with the big dogs and getting 100, 50 20.. or hell I'll even settle for 10 comments on an entry! haha I'm hoping this is just something that like everything else in this world, takes a lot of time and patience to build.